Welcome to M.E.G.H.A.L.A.N.D. and prepare yourself for confessions of a threateningly un-dangerous kind, from someone SPECTACULARLY ordinary and taking pride in the fact!
Meghaland is a place where, as a very good friend puts it, my “jaundiced perception” rules!! So be prepared for biased views and narrow-minded perspectives.
Anyway, so a couple of years ago I randomly composed a list of people who irk me and wrote down what I would say to them if they were in MEGHALAND. The process was so cathartic that since then I have been jotting down everything and anything in my diary under Meghaland and to my dismay, the list keeps increasing at an alarming rate!! So if you meet me someday and think I’m sweet and silent and submissive.. Take a second guess, I might just be sizing you up and wondering what I’ll say about u in ML. That speaks a lot about my sizing up skills..
So in ML there are some people/things and issues you NEVER EVER speak against especially in a sarcastic/ironic tone, yet with a I’m –only-joking kind of expression. Here it goes:
1. Poetry: Mine of course. If you don’t have anything good to say, then shut up! I am not interested in your criticism, Mr.Eliot wannabe. Get a life and remember.. I got a voice too!!!
2. BABYPHOBIA: If you are grossed out by kids.. WELCOME!! Don’t send me pics of your friend’s brother’s sister’s somebody’s baby assuming I’ll go gaga over them. I just might be tempted to delete you from my friend list!! HUH!
3. Sachin & John: Two celebrities I adore. If you don’t like them fair enough but please spare me the list of their faults.. Especially anything related to Sachin’s voice!
4. Womanpower: I’m not a hardcore feminist.. I have my own brand of humanism cum feminism. Stay away if you are an MCP!
5. Flesh eating: So you might think I’m a heathen considering my craving for non vegetarian food.. Spare me your vegetarian diatribe.. Go eat grass and be happy!
6. Sleeping: There is nothing like “too much of sleep”. 24 hours are too short any way.
7. BLACK: I’m not just shades of white and gray, its black that completes the whole. I identify with Black: it’s me, my color! If you don't like it......search for your rainbow!