From The Bard's Pen

What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason, how
infinite in faculties, in form and moving how express and
admirable, in action how like an angel, in apprehension how like
a god! the beauty of the world, the paragon of animals—and yet,
to me, what is this quintessence of dust? Man delights not me—
nor woman neither, though by your smiling you seem to say so.

- Hamlet

Sunday, February 15, 2009

A TORTOISE NAMED SPEED!!

An offer from a friend to gift a tortoise to me this birthday awakened ridiculous longings in me.. to own a cute pet .. and i pondered quite a bit over what i would name this cute pet of mine and the name i came up with was SPEED.... Why SPEED u might ask... well it seems to make sense to me.. if i have to motivate the tortoise to move I would have to just say its name.., "SPEED.........COME ON!!!!!!!!.. I NEED SPEED!!!"
I dreamt of having a tortoise of my own for quite some days until Dad made me sit down and asked me a few questions wth the condition that I had to get atleast some of them right before I could be entrusted with responsibility of a pet... I was soooooooooo confident I said I was ready for interrogation there and then.... AND I THOUGHT I KNEW MY DAD..
The first question was a blunder straight on.... I mean how many of you know the difference between a tortoise and a turtle??????? He just asked me calmly if I wanted a tortoise or a turtle.. and I was like, "You mean there is a difference between the two??"... Honestly.... Do you guys know the difference?? From then it was all downhill.... if there was ever an uphill to begin with....
What is the natural habitat of a tortoise/ turtle?? I mean i thought i would just put it in a bucket in the bathroom... of course that would jeopardise my privacy somewhat.... but its winter and who bathes in winter?? In summers I had thought we could put Speed in the water tank to keep it cool.. gud idea no?? But Dad was shocked... seemed I had failed again.... sighhhh... tell me something new..
Next.. what does a tortoise / turtle eat? I mean come on Dad...... if its tummy is as hard as its shell........ it can digest anything!!!! Yeah you guessed it.... I said dat... AS IF I was planning to feed my Speed Chicken momos or something..... Hey that's not a bad idea actually.... Momos are infinitely better than Biryani.. RIGHT??
A look at Dad's face warned me to not even ask if I had passed the interview....
All my dreams of spending days and nights with Speed were put to rest... I had thought of singing songs to him.. ( see how Speed graduated to "him" from "it" in my imagination...) .. I would share my poems with him... ( my sis very unkindly said that the tortoise/ turtle would commit suicide to escape SUCH a fate...) and I dreamt of taking him for walks... you know that is the thing with tortoise/ turtles.. you HAVE to carry them... for me it would become more of a weightlifting than a walk!! Dogs do seem better pets in some ways!! But the novelty of having a pet like Speed was something else.... Imagine if someone were to attack me. I could just take out Speed from my pocket and hurl him at them.. again and again.... see no need to carry pepper sprays!! my bodyguard..... my OWN WMD..... SPEED... WOW!!
So wat if I don't knw what does he eat..... please read and comment to convince my dad.. :P



6 comments:

  1. Gawd!! dude wt r upto??

    Btw i love reading ur blogs :)

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  2. Ash.. Im doing all I can to make you happy.. :P

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  3. "But the novelty of having a pet like Speed was something else.... Imagine if someone were to attack me. I could just take out Speed from my pocket and hurl him at them.. again and again.... see no need to carry pepper sprays!! my bodyguard..... my OWN WMD..... SPEED... WOW!!"

    Oh boy .... I wonder what kept you dreaming that kissing Speed would turn him into your prince charming...for now he is your knight in shinning(brown actually) armour(shell to be precise).You have the gift of opening up ur inner feelings without any constrain .... I like that.That makes you close to those reading your words .... because how aged may we be , all of us has got a child in ourselves
    who likes to be free. Hmmm .... good words, just look for your other feelings inside yourself and then u write about all of them , without leaving out any of them.

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  4. I cudnt hv xpectd dis frm ny1 but U!!! ;)

    Plzzzzz DO hv him...even if u hv to lie flat on ur dad's feet 2 seek d permission....

    n I shall cm over wid all my "speed" 2 hv a luk at him! n ofcourse, we shall treat him 2 sm delicious momos!! M sure he'll luv it! ;)

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  5. Subhasis. thanks for d comment and advice.. :)

    Neha.. glad to know u r supporting me in this...:)

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  6. I know keeping a pet is not ur thing so good at creative writing

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